thecrowingtobe | Open RP Post

He let out a urg like sound, and he knows he apologizes too much and he knows it bothers the other. He didn't reply to that then. He just lay there a moment trying to process his mind a bit.

Which lead to him laying there silent a while longer. God he was a mess, he should go clean up in the bathroom.

"No." He said in reply, thinking the comment was more about if he thinks or not. "I don't. I never think." A huff of words.

Terry glared at him from across the room. Because honestly. Really. That was not freaking helpful. He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"I meant." He said, "You think you're in love with me?"

That sounded uncertain and frankly Trauma was just confused at this point and had no idea if Claudio was hedging or actually meant it or what and Trauma wasn't sure what he meant by it or what he wanted Claudio to mean by it- He'd kissed him, back before the memory had been erased. What was that supposed to- Fuck. Count on Claudio to throw his head into circles.

If Claudio looked up, he'd find Trauma watching him warily from his place by the door, blue eyed, but uncertain.

Oh.

He blinked and rolled over on his side more, so he can tuck his head into his arm and peek out at the other. Bloody faced or not, he watched for a moment. Did he think he was in love with him?

Why would he say it. A few times no less.

Oh god unless he needed not to say it.

Nope, not going to panic over this one.

He stared for a while, as if considering it for a bit, then sat up, sniffing his nose as he stated at the other.

...

"Yes."

But in typical Claudio fashion, he got up and fazed out, invisible taking off out of the room.

He didn't GO far though. The sound of water in the bathroom sink was running as was the sound of heavier breathing and also splashing water. He was cleaning his face and cooling off a moment's panick. Because seriously, what if now he didn't want to think of the other that way?

Trauma was stuck staring off into nothing as Claudio disappeared, and if he didn't hear the water in the bathroom to know where he'd gone, well it wouldn't've been Trauma's fault if he'd decided decking him again was a good idea.

What kind of a fucking thing was that. Telling someone you were in love with them then running the fuck away wasn't exactly rational or reasonable behavior and fuck why the hell would he do that and-

"...Are you fucking kidding me?" Trauma said into the empty room before getting up and making his way over into the bathroom.

"....Can you not do that?" He said as he came around the corner, seeing Claudio at the counter and feeling the need to shake him. "The disappearing act in the middle of talking? Not okay."

He looked half terrified and Trauma just watched him in the mirror.

"Can you..." Trauma paused, having actually gotten a decent look at him and winced. Because that actually did look painful. And he'd been there. Even if Claudio did kind of deserve it. "Fuck. I'm sorry. Are you..."

Okay. ....Well. That was a terrible attempt. No, clearly he wasn't okay. But that was the sort of thing people said. So Trauma let it trail off helplessly.

"SOrr--No, not sorry. I mean not for saying it. Or meaning it. Just... for running off." He said, taking in a breath and holding a cloth over his face, the eyes he gave Trauma were pathetic, pleading for him to not be upset at him for this.

He sighed again, leaning over the sink and rubbing the cloth over his face. Taking off a mess a he cleaned up. And yeah, there was a bit of a bruise.

"Panicked. I don't know. I'm stupid. I don't know why you let me hang around." He admitted, wringing out the cloth and... peeking at him in the mirror. He'd found it a lot harder NOT to stare at the other while he was simply... being. The beating of his heart, the lightness of his head. He'd found it all harder to deal with at times, especially lately.

"Sorry for running off." He said at last, in what he had meant. For running off, not for saying yet. "And yeah... I'll be fine." The last part was mumbled. He deserved the hit anyhow.

Trauma frowned as he began to apologize because it really did unsettle him but then nodded once the explanation had been given because yes, that was a dick move. Just because you could go through walls did not mean it was nice to do so and leave other people confused and wondering what the fuck.

Terry watched him through the mirror again frowning as Claudio spoke and eventually moving forward to lean against the counter so he could actually watch Claudio and not a mirror, his arms crossed and his expression level. There wasn't much space so they were practically bumping into each other and Trauma didn't even notice, even with his reluctance earlier.

"Stop." He said, finally. "I'm- It's okay."

"You need to actually breathe."

He felt the other come in behind him and move in beside him, leaning on the space near the skin, on the sink, something like that. All he noticed was he was close. He could take in the smell of Trauma more then blood now, and there was almost a warmth coming off the colder then normal guy near by. God... he felt pathetic for noticing all that.

He washed still, hearing Trauma talk. Telling him to stop. To Breath. "I know I don't... make things easy, but your not much better." He said, much more calm sounding, though also muffled because he was talking through the wash cloth a he tried to wash up.

"I am breathing." He said a moment later, more to remind himself to do the same thing.

Trauma made a sound like a huff that might've even been something like a laugh in a better mood. Because easy wasn't something that happened with them. Not ever. Not really. And Trauma rolled his eyes as he continued to try and clean himself up, muttering through the washcloth like this was something other people did.

This really wasn't what other people did anyway. Other people didn't fight and work through and come up with more crap to fight and freak out about....or they did, they just had a different brand of things to freak out about. They all said fuck being normal so damn much but jesus. It would be nice to be, just every so often.

"Hey." He said finally.

"I need you to...actually talk to me?"

"I am talking to you." He said flatly, peeking up at him through water and a wash cloth. His face was clean now, but he hadn't stopped. He looked down again, pushing more cold water over his face with the cloth. "You don't make this easy either. You make this the opposite of easy, really."

He frowned, standing up and wringing the cloth out again, looking at the other with the least amount of emotions he could muster. "One moment you're don't touch me, don't touch me, the next you're pushing past to lean up on a wall and telling me to talk to you. I told you how I felt. What more do you need me to say and how long can you avoid it yourself."

He had flight on the mind again. He wanted to duck out, so bad. SO bad. But so far, he was sticking with it, for a moment longer.

"I-" Terry started frowning, and watching him like he'd suddenly been cornered even though he did have a fairly easy escape route all things considered. He didn't know what to do with the information he'd been given and just wanted more to go off of. He wanted to know what all of this meant, what was expected, what Claudio wanted out of...whatever this was.

And he wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to ask that without sounding like the one with robotics.

He was supposed to get this emotion thing, and make it work for him. He could tear someone apart if he wanted, he could help someone else through whatever the hell had wrapped up in their brain and taken root. But trying to pick apart his own was near impossible.

So he stood staring helplessly for just a moment too long.

Edited 2014-09-13 07:57 (UTC)

Welp.

That didn't help at all.

There was NOTHING at all said?

He let out a small frustrated growl, feeling vulnerable and open and not at all happy about the situation. He balled up the cloth, waited a moment longer, then tossed it to the sink, shaking his head and starting of out the bathroom, argumentatively stating "No, I take it back, you're worse then me when it comes to this!" And started for the stairs to the attic to leave, face red and not from anger. Just embarrassed that he could stand there and say all this crap and get nothing back at all.

Terry knew he'd just screwed up and wasn't exactly sure what to do with it. But he did know letting Claudio leave was a mistake.

"Claudio-"

Trauma did manage to grab ahold of him just as he cleared the bathroom door, before he'd tried to escape into invisibility again, catching Claudio by the arm and turning him around.

"Wait. Just- Will you fucking listen to me?" He said, snapping.

"You're right. I am worse at this. But I don't- This isn't something I do. I'm not-" worth this. When I get close to people I fuck it up. For the love of fucking god he'd only had a few minutes to figure out what was even going on. Claudio had forever to deal with this whole realization. Terry probably looked half confused, half angry at himself, whoever was nearest, and he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do with all of this.

"It's not that I don't-" Trauma stopped, looking horrifically awkward for all of a moment as he tried to figure out what exactly was expected out of this. He didn't know and it was enough to be a major fucking problem and got worse.

He could have blinked out.

He thought he should have, for a moment.

When the other grabbed hold of his arm and called for him to stop, to wait and listen to him, he gave a frustrated growl. If he WANTED time to think it OVER he should have let Claudio GO so he could THINK it Over!

He stood there a moment, looking less then pleased to be stopped now. He decided to pull at his bloody shirt, a thermal with long sleeves, yanking it off now and balling it up, pushing off the other hands if he had to.

"Didn't seem like a hard question. Yes or no, generally works. But I get it, and you don't have to say shit. Let it go is fine. Let ME go so you can think if you want. I... I don't care." he said and the tone he said it in said that wasn't true at all. He did care, but he was scared now.

He stepped back when he was pushed away and narrowed his eyes. Trauma looked for all the world like he was ready to either throw something. Most likely at Claudio.

"I don't know what you want from me!" He said finally, voice raising to match and thank Gabriel's deadbeat dad that no one was home otherwise someone would've been up here in two seconds and Trauma literally could not have dealt with that. He'd have probably decided to jump out a window and take the week's vacation from life. Because fuck it.

"In about ten minutes I found out my best friend pretty much erased my head" He snarled, ticking off on his fingers in a way a bit too reminiscent of his "sister" even for his own comfort. And never mind the fact that he was pretty much throwing the incident back in Claudio's face right now, he felt trapped and didn't know what else he was supposed to do."And that you're in love with me and now you're expecting some kind of answer from me. And I don't know what the hell you want."

Edited 2014-09-13 09:01 (UTC)

"I don't want anything from you though! I just want you to let me go! If you need time to think, than take it! Because this was something that one needs to think on before he can say shit. I get it. I shouldn't blurt ridiculous shit out. As for your god damn head!..."

His eyes were glowing again as he said that, a green like they tend to do when he's made.

"...I don't think bringing it up again is such a good idea when you're starting to tick me off! I didn't DO it on purpose! But fucking god damn I am so tempted to fix his entire conversation and never trying it again!"

Oh, so, that might have been yelled, and he wasn't actually powering up, but he was 'powered' up. And clearly mad.

This wouldn't end well.

Trauma almost instantly went wide eyed and his eyes immediately lit up in return, lighting up suddenly and brightly and drawing the color back out in an instant.

He'd never been made nervous by what Claudio could do or even by the fact that he couldn't read a damn thing off the other. But between the new and....a little terrifying power and the yelling, Trauma was not exactly the most comfortable with the turn of events.

So, Trauma did the most logical thing possible, he grabbed Claudio's arm again to throw him off balance, before sweeping his knee out and catching the others, and dropping him, hard. Sometimes, bootcamp had it's perks.

Trauma stood over him, head tilted and world gone grey for a good long pause before he crouched down to a closer level and he spoke.

"How about we don't start flinging around intent with a power based on suggestion that you don't have control over yet." Trauma said fairly deadpan though the level of distortion in his voice was high, making it near unrecognizable. "Okay?"

One minute he had a temper flair. The next minute he was on the floor, his breath knocked out of him and head aching on the floor.

Ow.
He could have faded out, almost instantly. He could have dropped through the floor, but instead he lay there, head tilted back so not to look at Trauma. Fuck, be proud he hasn't gone invisible on you yet man.

He let out a cough and then a growl. "I said tempted, not that I was gonna do it. Fuck. Kind of like how much I want to hit you right now and haven't yet." He growled through his teeth.

Honestly, he knows it was dumb to say before, as much as this is pretty dumb to say too. but he's being dumb in general.

"Intent's important, dumbass." Trauma said helpfully, parroting back Jinx's lesson without thinking. "And I'd like to keep hold of my memories this time, thanks."

Trauma rolled his eyes at Claudio's continued jackassery from the floor as if this wasn't anything abnormal at all. And he'd been hit before. And probably would be again. He knew his life and accepted it.

"Now. Without freaking the fuck out. Can you tell me what the hell you're even wanting so I know if we're even remotely in the same page?" Terry said finally, sounding tired and glaring at him obviously even through lit up eyes.

Intents important his ass. He doesn't care about his demon lessons or magic lessons or anything. Intent wasn't that important to him, that he thinks at least.

You notice he's not moving though? Because he's not getting up and he's not fading through. The green glow had died down to the pretty back light eyes of light blue however. Powered up but not... powered.

He's glaring, looking up and away from Trauma however.

"I don't want anything." He hissed. His eyes closing now and laying on the floor, Trauma hovering and glaring at him, and he not looking to it. Not moving. Not leaving. His hand was balled up but it wasn't moving. It didn't swing. It didn't hit. He hissed again.

"I just want you to let me go and think on it. Or forget I said anything if it's goin' to be this much of a problem."

"...Kind of need to know what you want to know what I am thinking about." Trauma said, unhelpfully. His eyes slid back to red and then finally to blue. He was on edge, but he was trying not to make things worse.

Not that Claudio was even looking at him.

Now who was avoiding things.

But really, Trauma was making a decent point. If this...if he was something Claudio wanted because he just happened to be closest or some sort of horrific reaction to Trauma dying then he didn't know what he was going to do about it.

If this was....

He wasn't even totally sure, but now that he was thinking about, he couldn't not think about it and....Goddamn it. Somewhere, someone in the universe was laughing at them.

"I don't know! I fucked up and said I loved you again. I think that's enough right there to consider your own damn feelings on with out me having to tell you what I want you to think about!"

Seriously, he didn't understand what was wanted here. He opened his eyes to look up at the other as he said all that, but he didn't really look mad, just... frustrated now.

"What do normal people do or think when someone tells them they might be in love with them? Do they normally turn it around and demand to know what to think? Cus if that's the case, I give up already, because I don't know what you're suppose to think."

Trauma opened his mouth and closed it again. Because honestly he didn't have an answer for that one. Normal wasn't exactly their forte alright? None of theres. He sat back instead of crouching, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"'M not demanding." Trauma said finally, as if this was the main point. Which it isn't, and he knows it, but honestly he's not really sure what Claudio wants his response to be even and that is a problem according to Terry.

"And if you leave I wont see you again for another month." He said simply. ....So, maybe that whole avoiding thing left Terry a bit paranoid, okay? He's just now got the picture of why it happened, but because of Claudio's tendency towards flight...he's pretty sure it could happen again. And he's sick of it. Terry's got very few people he actively chooses to be around. And one of them treated him like he didn't exist for a while. So count him paranoid. Sorry.

Not demanding. That was it? Claudio sighed, pressing his hands to his face again, frustrated for the most part. He wasn't even sure what else to do or say. He shouldn't have said any of that to begin with.

"Let's just... forget I said anything. I just... I know my apologies mean nothing to you, but I am sorry I didn't come to you first when I realized. I got scared I'd lose you to this one. Tried figuring it out myself and failed on that."

He moved to sit up off the floor, reaching back to rub his head, glaring still. "And I aint gonna go anywhere for a month."

Trauma rolled his eyes, because Claudio was being dramatic about apologies again and he wasn't going to hash through it now, but someday he was going explain exactly what the problem was. With words. Even if he had to write it down first.

And Then Terry gave him another sharper look because Claudio had made the move to leave more than once. And he didn't trust the timeframe no matter what Claudio said. He'd trust the guy with his life. But he'd also trust him to try and evade every emotional mess on the planet. Trauma really wanted to avoid it, too.

The world, however, was not a fair place.

"Why the fuck would you 'lose me'. I don't get that." Trauma said, quietly, moving to watch the floor and still sitting with his arms around his knees. "Even if I didn't get the powers crap and I didn't-"

"That doesn't make sense." He said, mostly because it didn't. Trauma wasn't going anywhere. And it wasn't like there was anything Claudio could do at this point to alienate him aside from just...deciding he didn't want Trauma around. If that had been the case, he'd have hated it, but he'd have respected it. But he really couldn't fathom the fact that Claudio had no concept of that or the fact that Trauma didn't...he wasn't good with people. Not really. Not one on one, and not when it came to himself. So he wouldn't be the one to end..whatever the fuck was apparently happening because Trauma was very confused right now and fuck the headache coming on was enough to make him want to just go to sleep and not wake up for a very long time. Possibly until after Jinx was back and could act as a human...ish buffer again.

Excuse you. It's not dramatic. And someday if Trauma uses words, that will be a day to remember and then maybe Claudio will get it. Until then...

He didn't say anything for a moment though, staring at the other for his comment. How... does he not understand the thought of losing the other. And over memory? Because honestly, memory is important and if Claudio had done that shit on purpose he damn well hopes (but doesn't but does) that Trauma wouldn't forgive him for that shit, because that's unforgivable.

So he looked blankly at him sitting there, staring at the floor, saying it doesn't make sense. He moved to come closer, looking confused more then anything now. Reaching out he put a hand on the others arm, coming to knee now in front of the other, knees at either side of the others toes. Trying to get a look at the others face, he found himself more startled by the comment then he expected.

"Are you kidding me right now? Fuckin' hell, Terry. If I did something like that on purpose you aren't... you can't just..." He huffed, not sure how to say it, because he wouldn't want him to leave but...

"You seriously would stay with me if I fucked with your head. On purpose. Like..." He frowned harder. "No." He stated, firmly, hoping to get the others attention. "If I had done that shit on purpose I'd be worse then scum, and I already feel like shit for doing it but... no, see... no. If someone does shit like that you don't stick around. Losing you would... it'd kill me, alright?"

And on a smaller breath of words, head tipped down, scowling down now too. "Don't be stupid. I mean, I wouldn't ever do it on purpose, but if I did, don't fuckin' be stupid."

Edited 2014-10-05 05:52 (UTC)

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