Open RP Post

[thecrowingtobe]

Open post for any and all PSLs for Claudio Kilgannon of the Amory Wars.

Open to all:
Cast Mates
Cross-canons
OCs

Comments

[mademyhell]

Terry made a strange half laugh, because that was depressingly right on a certain level. They lived out of each other's pockets for so long that the moment it had been interrupted he'd barely known what to do with himself.

He couldn't think of anyone else on the planet, or really any planet that held the same place.

Terry seemed to take a very long moment, just watching him before finally walking across the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor and he began picking at the polish on his nails once he'd settled, trying to figure out exactly what he was doing or how he was even going to say it.

"This couple weeks literally sucked. I can't do that again. ...I can't." It takes him a moment, because that took a lot of effort to say even without looking at Claudio, because it's still hard to talk about himself in any real way and harder still to admit when something hurt him.

"I thought I'd-" He pauses, and open and closes his mouth a couple times like he's trying to figure it out. "I thought. That It'd finally been too much, that I'd-"

That I'd been too much, that everything had been too much to take.

"So... " He says awkwardly, before shrugging, and looking back down at his hands. It's a little hard to admit how that's still a sticking point in his brain and how hard it managed to crash what little self esteem he tended to cling to on a good day. It's a little easier now knowing why, but it's still difficult to talk to through, harder to explain, but it needs to be out of the way before he goes along with anything else or explains anything else.

"There's that but..." Terry is more than a little helpless when he comes to this sort of stuff, and he sort of half nods before continuing. "If if you wanted to I- ....I mean -"

Oh god. Talking is fucking hard, and it's more than a little obvious that he's not exactly making it on the talking front in the slightest, and dear fucking god, Claudio save him from his own inability to behave like a fucking human.

[thecrowingtobe]

Everything about today seemed to be harder than the last month in general. Every ounce of emotion that came off of both boys had been hard and heavy and it had to have wiped them both out. Still, they continued to talk through it. Tried to work through the emotions and actions in the best way they could.

Which wasn't the best at all, but it was them. It was how they did things.

The worst way possible.

Claudio let Trauma try and talk. The fact that Trauma thought that he had been too much for Claudio at last felt bad too. As if that was something that could ever be.

Claudio said nothing for a moment, just letting Terry have the time or the moment if he needed, to try to get words out. He honestly couldn't figure out how to fix anything. In his mind this entire conversation was a complete mess filled with mixed signals and miscommunications. Yet he wanted to be here.

Pulling himself a bit closer on the bed, he moved to where Trauma was seated, scooting in behind him and... leaned forward. Pressing his forehead to the others back and rested it there. His fingers reached out to hook into belt loops at the back of the others pants, as if to hold onto him a bit with out being too... clingy? Too close? His fingers curled, tightening a moment as he took in a small breath.

"I wont avoid you like that again." He said more firmly now. A promise to the other. He leaned a bit heavier into him, eyes closed and let out a small breath. He could... deal with him not wanting him, but he couldn't deal with not being around him. It had sucked for him and it apparently have been worse for Terry.

He leaned there, eyes closed, not sure what Trauma wanted to get across with what else he was saying. If Claudio wanted to? Wanted to... what? It was terrible. He just wanted to curl his arms around the other, close his eyes, and pretend nothing had happened. It was dumb, he knew that much, but he wished he hadn't of messed up.

It had felt like they had been dating for years now though. He couldn't get past that feelings. Maybe it was just him though. Maybe it was just his mind making up things he wished to see. And maybe... he shouldn't want to wrap himself around Trauma and protect him, especially not when he was the one that hurt him last. "If I wanted what?"

[mademyhell]

It's a little weird how little he's surprised by the sudden space invasion, and that makes him pause more than the actual touch, because honestly now that he's noticed it's hard to un notice the fact that he's spent years with most people being utterly terrified to be in his space, and he really has gotten used to the fact that Claudio is almost painfully tactile, all the time. Always has been, even after he read his fears, even after they'd both died, even after everything. He's so used to it that relaxes in spite of himself, and then tenses up again due to the fact that now he's thinking about it. And Trauma takes a very deep breath and proceeds to roll his eyes at himself because dear fucking god, what the hell is wrong with him.

Clearly many things.

Terry half turned to look at him, not shoving him off in any way, but it's very hard to have a conversation with someone behind you. Not that...he hadn't kind of started that. The position was a little awkward, though it's pretty clear that he's mostly just trying to get some attempt at eye contact or something, and isn't trying to hard to make Claudio back up.

As for words...if he could've found a way to do it without being absolutely impossible he might've bitched about being forced to actually say it, but then, most of the time people are telling him to use his words.

Instead of whatever it is he does. Mostly not talking.

He stopped and started a couple times, without actually saying anything and mostly just making himself look kind of ridiculous by failing at the very basic life skill of opening ones mouth and having words come out.

Finally he just made a very irritated sound, and forced himself into words.

"Apparently we've tried dating without actually knowing we were doing it so, maybe we should try actually....knowing about it."

........Oh, and the look on Terry's face is kind of magical at the moment because clearly that was not as smooth or clear as he hoped for and now is mentally kicking himself because wow. Trauma. Low point in communication. Even for you.

[thecrowingtobe]

Claudio was raised in a tactile home, so to say he was a tactile person was pretty much a fact. Even if in this place he didn't get that close to people anymore. He tended to fade away from people (physically & metaphorically) instead of getting too close. It was easier. But Claudio did tend to respond better to contact. Contacts in all forms.

You tell him to 'come back' or 'don't dart off and go invisible you little shit' and he literally can ignore that a person said anything at all. Grab his arm however and things got real. Things connected in his head in a way that he was reminded he needed to stay where he was and not make a run for it. The sooner 'someone' learned that trick he'd have an easier time of keeping the invisa boy around in an argument. Sort of. It's not a rule set in stone, but it is something.

It was grounding for him. Contact made something in his head connect.

Like now. Simply being closer and knowing that Trauma didn't just hate him helped, yes, but the fact that he didn't shove him away helped more. At first when the other moved, Claudio did almost draw back, face starting to burn a bit in a blush. Except he realized he wasn't being pushed away. His fingers flexed tighter on belt loops a moment again, before he turned his head to look up at the other.

A brow raised as he watched Ter try to say things and then not. Then the irritated sound made him sit up a bit, drawing away, though he kept his tiny hold on the other still, looking confused for a moment as he started to actually speak.

He blinked... then smiled faintly, relaxing just a bit more, realizing he had tensed up the moment the other actually tried to speak.

A soft chuckled might have been heard, faint and small. "Did you just ask me on a date?" He said with the faintest smile. It was true. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like they had already been dating. But then again, that's how best friends work too, right? Except the whole sharing a space, a bed sometimes, and being around each other all the damn time.

Moved into a bigger home. Still shared a room. Who does that?

[mademyhell]

".....Apparently I did." Was the first thing out of Terry's mouth. "I think?"

Frankly Terry had no idea what he's doing, so any assistance would honestly be appreciated. It's strangely a little easier now that he can actually see Claudio's reaction. About 90% of the time he tried to avoid any and all eye contact, but in this...as kind of with most things, Claudio seems to be the exception.

Wow. Okay. How pathetic are they?

Terry attempted something like a smile that mostly just comes out as an odd mix between cringing at himself and his usual inability to behave like a normal person. Having seemed to have realized that failed miserably Terry's eyes darted down and away.

He was clearly at something of a loss, but then, when it comes to his own stuff, and his own emotional baggage, when wasn't he.

"Yeah." He said, finally, more like a connection to the last train of thought than out of the blue, even if it took him....a really really long moment to actually say it. "I did."

He's not 100% sure where he stands yet, he's really not, because he's only had a little while to think and, lets face it, Trauma is a little (there really is no other word for it, unfortunately, and as always that fact makes his life difficult)... traumatized. The word love is likely not happening any time soon. Honestly, though he's sure he literally would do pretty much anything for Claudio and that the list of people he'd feel comfortable even going near the idea of dating or whatever is painfully small and would've likely included him had Terry not gone for immediately crushing any and all emotions that could lead to vulnerability and trying to ignore them for all he's worth.

Healthy? No.

A decent survival trait? Yes.

But he's willing to at least.....attempt. To look into what that could be like. Chances are, if they haven't murdered each other yet, they're not going to, and Claudio probably wont just....

If things go bad, the chances are bad will include someone going home more than one or the other of them deciding they hate each other, so there's that.

[thecrowingtobe]

"Huh." He said in reply to the yes. Yes, he did just ask him on a date. He can't help be surprised. This is not how he thought the day would go, really. His face still radiated heat and his nose throbbed from the hit. His eye had the start of a blackening going on. This wasn't abnormal for him, but it still wasn't how he thought this would go.

Ever.

He didn't want to make a big deal out of it though. It wasn't... a big deal. Right? After all, it's just them going to go do something together, like normal. As he said, it's like they've been dating with out knowing it. There was no reason to make a big deal out of anything.

Yet he still smiled about it, drawing a hand back to rub at his face, trying to hide the smile a bit by touching his stupid nose as if checking it. Head down a bit he gave a nod. "Yeah. Sure. That would be cool."

In truth, he still thought the other should be mad at him. Should hit him a few more times even. He was pretty sure that this shouldn't be okay, and that he should just apologize and fade out of the world.

He needed to get out of that train of thought, but it was still there. He hurt Trauma, he killed a man, and he just... kept getting worse. Yet here he was, a small smile on his face, feeling dumbly warm because Terry asked him on a date. He felt so dumb, but okay with it.

[mademyhell]

The corner of Terry's mouth tugs, like he's attempting not to smile but can't really help it for a moment.

So. Sometimes he forgets that they're both utterly useless, and that's part of why they're friends. It's remarkably endearing and it makes him roll his eyes in a sort of affectionate fake annoyance.

"Okay." He says, uselessly, though it's a less painful kind of useless, and more just of the normal kind.

Though the gesture Claudio makes reminds him that he maybe....needs to come up with a better way to deal with his anger issues than hitting someone. He'd been so angry he could see red at the time, almost literally, and what he'd thought had happened wasn't actually the case at the time. That didn't excuse it, but it was...understandable? He's sort of eternally grateful that what he thought wasn't the actual case because if it had, this would be a much more horrifying situation that would include way more need on his part for therapy.

His face screws up the way it does when he's thinking and he reaches out and then seems to think better of it.

"Hey, uh..." He gestures vaguely with a free hand. "Sorry. About your face."

And then a beat, because now that he's thinking about it....

"...Not about tripping you though."

That was a perfectly valid reaction, thank you, and would've been a Gauntlet approved response to someone who didn't know how to turn a power like whatever that was using trigger words for that sort of thing.

Either way, that's something they're going to need to deal with, now that he's thinking about it, but that is a problem for future them, and at the moment, he's just going to stick with taking one thing at a time.

[thecrowingtobe]

Everything was a bit of a mess right now, and while he felt terrible, he also felt a bit better just because Trauma wasn't exactly MAD at him. He really should be though. He really, really should be, but he can't help feeling a bit better to the fact that he doesn't hate him.

He watched the other and the screwed up look on his face as Terry looked at him. A brow raised for a moment, and in truth, had he actually touched his face he'd have responded well to it.

He always did.

The gesture and the comment though, he drew back to seated on his feet, his hand reinspecting his nose softly. "Ah... yeah. I mean, you shouldn't apologize for that. I kind of deserved it. Honestly, you could have gotten away with more, I think, so please don't apologize." And then he gave a small huff of breath to the tripping part.

"Deserved that too."

He frowned a moment after, eyes closed and letting his fingers touch over his own nose, double checking. He knows it's going to hurt for a bit. He always bruised well for some weird hybrid robotic angel being things. For The Crowing, he guessed. He didn't trust himself with everything that he had to deal with in that alone.

He really didn't trust himself with the new things.

He has no idea how Trauma can trust him at all right now.

[mademyhell]

If there's anything they have in common it's the constant need to beat themselves up for shit, and Trauma could see it literally a mile away, even before Claudio comes out and literally says it.

"Kinda decked you in the face before actually figuring out what was going on." He said, making a sort of vague so-so gesture. "Probably should apologize."

He narrowed his eyes as a thought occurred to him, and he reached out for real this time to grab Claudio's hand and pull it away from his face, using the action to make sure he actually had Claudio's attention.

"Yeah I was pissed, and-" He paused, and then decided on honesty. "....Still might be if I think about it...Mostly about the not talking. But that doesn't mean it was the greatest idea. "

He can figure that Claudio's going to continue being angry at himself, and tearing himself up inside, and really there is something that should be done about the fact that he really needs to get this particular power under control fast before there's another issue, but that aside, he knows Claudio, and he knows he wouldn't have made someone ..um. Decide to join the choir eternal? kill themselves intentionally. ...Okay maybe Spencer, but Trauma would probably do everything in his power to take that guy's fears and make them eat his own brain until nothing remained if he could, so honestly he's not the one to judge on that front. And let's be honest, he isn't sure which is worse.

Terry was actually trying for eye contact for once, and if he was in the mood for it, he might've laughed about the fact that they apparently are both way too willing to let people they care about hurt them. Way to go them.

[thecrowingtobe]

He's pretty bad about it, yeah. He still doesn't like what he's become. This 'Crowing' crap was... well, crap. He didn't care for it one bit and it made him feel terrible. The powers he had just kept coming. Most people got one or two things when they came to port. This was... all his. All his and he would have got this crap if he was here or home.

And he hated it.

He hated having control of anyone's life in any form. The invisible thing? Sure, that was great. The going through walls? Also great. The whole... being able to kill people or choose the fate of the masses crap? Terrible.

"Sorta deserved it for avoiding you, at least." He started, then raised both brows, surprised when the other took his hand, pulling it away. The other had his attention at least. He blinked, staring at the other in surprise for it. And then the words too.

The surprise melted a bit as his brows drew together, worried and uneasy. He did nod though, agreeing that the other should still be mad. He'd be mad if he were Trauma. "Not a great idea, but it does get my attention. Sometimes..." He said faintly, frowning at the other. "I've got a hard head. It takes a bit to get through to it."

He let out a sigh, and it was true. He's continue to be angry at himself, and he'd continue to try and be careful, because his powers still scared him. At least some of them did.

It's the truth though. They were both pretty dependent on having the other around, even if it meant a bit of pain.