IC Contact - New

[thecrowingtobe]

[If it gets past the 4th ring and he doesn't pick up it will go to answering machine.]

This is Claudio. Leave a message and I'll get back to you if I can.

Comments

[action] i do it all the time. awake or not.

[thecrowingtobe]

[He was calm. He was calm. He was as calm as a fish in a mellow stream... trying to shake off a hook. He would have been much more calm if he could have dropped through the for and got his mind to him. Shit, fuck, shit.]

[With a deep breath and sigh he looked across to the other guy and looked.... miserable. Not in a bad way just... kicked puppy sad for a moment.]

Man, seriously... I'm calm but that was not something you needed to know.

[action]

[mademyhell]

....Then you've got no concept of calm.

[Terry stayed where he was, managing to look fairly calm himself, if only out of an attempt to counter the freaking out. Managing to look it didn't mean 'was' but it was a step in the right direction, and frankly, only so many things could be dealt with at once. That being said-]

So...what. You just-[He stopped himself there, because....He was not sure he really wanted the answer on that one, and he was getting better about not asking things he really did not want to know.]

...

[Being bad at the 'words being useful' thing sucked. And so he dropped eye contact and gave an attempt at a shrug, that included some kind of indecipherable hand wave. About all it managed to get across was that Terry was trying too hard to figure out the world to bother with the fact that no one could figure out what the hell he meant when he did things like that.]

[action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[only his lack of words and his shruggy and calm motions were just making Claudio feel... worse. Like this was the most horrible idea ever. Which he was already sure it was, and he was ready to split again.]

[instead he moved over to the beat up couch that was in the attic and took a seat on the arm, slumping and sighing a bit, head down, eyes a bit wide still (not freaking out but still in shock at himself) and just... -really- wanted to go. He gave a shrug back, trying not to look at the other guy]

I told you... I just... figured it out one day and then... I don't know. It made sense. Dumb, I know. Sorry. Ben... avoiding you cus I don't... don't really have anyone to talk to about it and don't know what to do about it, so yeah, if it weirded you out, sorry, but that was that and I don't even know what to day, so...

[yeah, he's any better with words?]

[Action]

[mademyhell]

[Normally this word fail seems to work to their advantage, similar failings and all. And...then there are times like this. ...Not that...there ever have been other times like....Right. Terry watched Claudio drop down onto the couch and after a moment, slid down the wall to sit on the floor.]

Stop...apologizing. That's not-

[Trauma stopped, set his jaw, and tried to think of what the hell he was going with any of this. Honest to fucking god, he had no idea what to do. He was trying to get the world to make some sense, but it kind of hated him, and he was having a little trouble wrapping his head around the fact that the past couple minutes happened because he's really shit at this sort of thing in the first place, mainly due to the fact that youtry having any sort of stable relationship of any kind with the kind of crap he got stuck with, and people are fucking hard even when he could tell what the hell made them tick and holy fucking shit what even was his life.]

Just...Give me a second. ....Okay?

[Overthinking? What overthinking? Thinking is required. There's no such thing as overthinking]

[Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[A DEEP SIGH]

[This would be made SO MUCH EASIER if Trauma didn't tell him to stay put. If he could just blink out and run off. Hide for a bit. Figure out how the hell he let this happen.]

[Over thinking was what he had done for months and months now. The guy just made avoiding him harder by being a jerk is all.]

[great.]

[He slid off the arm of the couch and dropped heavy into the seat, one leg hanging off the arm and over the side, the other falling off the side and resting his foot on the floor. He pressed his hands into his face and thus his head into the seat.]

[He said nothing.]

[There. Have your 'second'. But know that this attitude of his right now is the 'i really feel trapped and i want to run' thing right now]

[Action] Here. Have this novel. It's you 99th problem.

[mademyhell]

[Now that Terry had got his second, he wasn't really sure what to do with it. He linked his hands up around the back of his neck and let out air in a rush, because fuck this and everything too. Okay. Okay

So. Facts. Facts were simple. Claudio thought he was in love with him, wasn't planning on saying anything about it, and had been avoiding him because of it. Okay. He really missed Dani for one awful, stupid, moment because she'd have laughed at him and shoved him in the right direction, whatever it was, because that's what she did. Going into this conversation, that...was a better outcome than 'you're an asshole for dying and worrying us and so I'm planning on ignoring you until the end of time because fuck you' which he'd been worried about and...apparently shouldn't have been worrying and-Okay.

Apparently, he wanted Terry to just drop it. ...Which....When he thought about it, Terry really...Just couldn't. There were a lot of good reasons why he should beginning and ending in 'he's my best friend and if we fuck this up I have no idea what to do'. But...now that the idea had been planted in his head, he didn't-

Trauma sighed heavily and knocked his head back against the wall, checking the moment after to make sure that the sudden movement hadn't made the jumpiest mutant on the planted decide to go through the floor.

Satisfied that at leas the minute was going to go on a moment or two longer, Terry went back to thinking.

Unsure where his own thoughts were, Terry tried to rationalize Claudio's. They had been through a fuck of a lot together, and as far as friendships went, it was pretty much the sanest one he'd had since...Terry cringed a bit, and left that thought at 'years' because looking too long at how long he'd been stuck with his powers was just a great way to make a bad situation worse. That, and from the one time he'd gotten access into the crap in Claudio's head, he'd gotten a pretty clear picture on his terror at being alone. Trauma could relate. But thinking over that, mixed with Claudio's recent horrible, he was the guy's best friend, he could call it like he saw it attempts at dating, plus Jinx's shoving her happy co-dependency on the entire island....Right. Course. Trauma looked over at Claudio, looking unsure and kind of hating the universe entirely.]

....Look, I get that I'm around, and not going anywhere....So, if that's what this is can we just- Not?

[Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[such a long stretch of silence. His hands pressed his head back into the couch farther and he wanted nothing more then to take off, but he was respecting the fact that Trauma had HATED it when he did that bullshit. And he knew it wasn't a good habit. But running was always easier for him. Run away from his problems, his responsibility and fears. Always easier then dealing with anything.]

[so clearly he was trying right now.]

[And it felt like a long time to wait. And what he said? There was a hard dry laugh pushed out from under his hands, fingers covering his shame still. That was amusing. That's exactly what he had thought ages ago also.]

[He crossed his arms over his head, so his elbows were pointed up and he was covering his face. Oh god, how to talk. Try not to ramble. Try not to spill it all out there. Try not to--]

[God it was like rainbow vomit, just arching out of his mouth and spilling everywhere against his will...]

It's not like that. I know my flaws, Terry. I know them. I know you know them too so I know where you just went. I get it. I don't like being alone. I don't want to BE alone. You're my best friend. Seems a simple connection. Stupid, huh? Like some kid with a pathetic crush just cus they spend so much time with a person.

[he took a deep breath and kept going]

Don't you fucking think I would have thought it over? I mean, yeah, okay this was stupid and brash and [and his heart was fucking breaking right now okay? God he wanted to go] and... and just...

Look, I know. I'm a mess, but it's not even that. I been trying to... find someone on my own. Find someone for me, even if it's just a bit. Tried to ditch you a bit there. Dates never go well. They're all... air heads. Too into themselves. Too many issues I don't relate to or understand. Want too much that I'm not willing to give. None of them were right. Not that I found a lot of people who cared to put up with me, kay?

[pushing on his face again he growls a bit, a huff] This is going to sound really dumb but each one wasn't the right person. They weren't you. And I figured that out. Kept thinking of things that.... that weren't fitting of a date. Kept thinking about... well, you know what. This is stupid. Just, it's not that. It's not that at all. I got you guys around anyhow, so I'm not alone.

It's just not that. I think I tried those failed dates because I didn't want to think about... you. Alright? Fuck, what is this sap?

I don't wanna fuck up our friendship, which I think I just did, like, fucking smashed it and fractured it or at least changed it to something awkward and that is exactly what I have been trying to avoid and... [he took another breath, cus all this was said FAST, then sighed]

And it's just not like that. Don't think I haven't tried my best not to be that guy. That asshole who ruins everything. And if you're just going to sit there for another silent twenty minutes, I'm going to duck out now and go drown in a bar somewhere, okay?

[Action]

[mademyhell]

[Terry sat through the entire rant, and the resigned look he'd picked up an edge of confusion before he just sat there, crossed arms over his knees, looking far too wary of a situation that really didn't merit it. Really, the issue was pretty simple, pulled to the bare bones. Claudio apparently saw something worth having some whole emotional upheaval in him, and though fuck if he knew what it was, that settled in somewhere in Terry's head. It freaked him the fuck out to be honest, because what the hell had he even fucking done to earn that. He couldn't picture it, and god knew he was trying to. At the point where he'd finally processed everything, Terry rolled his eyes in some near failed attempt to act normal.]

You didn't fuck it up. Okay?

It's....['Difficult to try and figure out what the hell made you come to this decision or where the hell I stand, and I kind of expected to get decked in the face about ten minutes ago, and had my plans change drastically and don't know what to do with myself' or "it's kind of hard to figure out things when you keep trying to leave and wont explain why the fuck this popped into your head cause I don't get it." Terry rested his head against his arms.]

[Or, there's just the possibility of saying 'it's not fucked up because now you have me thinking about this and fuck you for making it sound like it might not crash and burn horribly because you might actually mean what you're saying.']

[Or, there was all of the above. Terry pulled his head up to try and actually make something like decent conversation. Eye contact would likely help more.]

......I think forgetting is kind of a lost cause.

[Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[He still really wanted to dash away, but at least Trauma was talking some, and it didn't sound all bad. He ignored the first part, just giving a small nod, though he didn't believe it, cus really... god, he remembered the months of awkward with him and Jinx. And the jealous of Gabe, and how she and he had that one night and barely a week later she was head over in heels for the damn angel.]

[Yeah... waiting for that to happen again, some how. Somewhere. Just to spite him and his life. Difference was he didn't really love jinx like that. THAT... was a 'because we were there' moment for him. This? completely different.]

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of. If I could make you forget.... I would. [funny.... he really COULD make him forget... he just doesn't know that yet. Oh well, shhh]

[He sighed again, glancing over at the boy and seeing him watch back. Claudio sighed, frowning and going a bit weak backed on the couch, leg flopped and stopped fidgeting.]

[That was another thing he hated to admit even to himself... but he was pretty sure he was smitten with the guy even when just... looking at him. He frowned after a moment and glanced up again, hands pressing to his forehead and giving a small growl once more.]

I did think it through. A lot. I think I knew months ago, actually. I just kept denying it.

[Action]

[mademyhell]

So...what. You were never going to say anything?

[And here's where Trauma looked kind of offended. And he wasn't even totally sure why. God knew he'd never mention something like this without it being some horrific accident or bad spur of the moment decision. So. No room to talk. But still.]

....You were just going to keep avoiding me and....[Trauma cut off, with a sort of sardonic little smirk because...Well. He wasn't even sure what level of it was irritating him. The fact that he was being kept in the dark yes, the irony was astounding shut the fuck up or the fact that he wasn't quite sure how that part factored into the information he'd been given. And he thought he was dealing fairly well with the pile of it that had been dropped in front of him...Could be dealing better, honestly, but that would require understanding what the hell Claudio wanted out of this, which he didn't know. ]

Right.

[Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

I was just going to... try to get my head back in some form of order, maybe? I don't know. [he frowned, sitting up on the couch now, both the heels of his boots were digging into the edge and his elbows on his knees, hiding a bit as he lowered him self in, comfortable, with his hands on his head. Oh god, why was he opening his mouth.]

I wasn't going to avoid you forever. Just until I could talk myself out of you, is all. Which is stupid, I know, but I got no one else to talk to about it so talking myself out of it wasn't going to work either. Talking to Jinx? No way. "Ewww, Diooo. Incest!" [he said it in his best Jinx voice... which isn't that bad] Gabe? Not really. Not taking it to the others either. [Michael would be encouraging, he was sure.]

But the more I tried to talk myself out of it anyhow the more I kept thinking on it and the more it seemed wrong to try. Which--okay, I'm lost on my own conversation. Look what I'm trying to say is this. I went on dates. I sat there finding them boring, and they really werent, but they were. I'd sit there wondering what you were doing, or god, texting you some bullshit comments cus I could. Or being glad a date was over so I could come back to the apartment, be grouchy, and flop down and bitch about it with you.

And yeah, I know that sounds a lot like just, you know, friends stuff, but it's not. I mean, it is but... hhhng. [he pressed his hands harder into his head, as if it would fix his jumbled thoughts.] Just... trust me. It's more then 'you're my best friend' thing going on here.

[Action]

[mademyhell]

[Trauma was quiet for a long moment, looking down at the floor over his arms. There was going to hit a point where the overthinking was going to be a problem, but fuck if he was going to worry about that when clearly it wasn't his biggest problem.There was so much crap he needed to figure out, but the twenty questions route was only so helpful.

And, really, Claudio had kind of hit the nail on the head. When your problem actually includes the person you'd go to, to talk about any of this mess, then you clearly needed more friends. ....Fuck. Never saying that one out loud, in case Jinx heard him. Didn't need to know she was right. Encouraging her wasn't a good idea on this one.

He'd covered the 'long story short' version of this, already. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out, but he kept tripping up over the 'Why' aspect. And every time he tripped over the why, he got more irritated because the answer he'd been given wasn't enough to shut up his head, but knowing Claudio, he wasn't going to get better, and he shouldn't expect it or need it. This was something he hadn't known he'd had an hour ago, the fact that he couldn't quantify it shouldn't hurt his head so damn much.

Trauma sighed heavily and put his head down. Some days, he really did not know how to exist in his own head.]

[Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[Oh god, so much silence. He sat there for a moment longer, taking in the sounds of nothing in return, and tried VERY HARD not to read into them as something meaning more then silence.]

[He sat there for as long as he could handle it, then sighed deeply and shoved himself up to his feet, hands rubbing his head as if this gave him a headache.]

You know what? I can't do this. I can't sit here and stat over thinking every little sigh or sound or silence coming from you. I can't sit here and... and ramble off everything in my head and hear nothing back from you. If it's a problem. Let me know. If you don't remotely feel that way. Let me know. If you think I'm a douche bag, for the love of Deedee and Aslin let me know. But for fucks sake, just... let me know something.

Get your over thinking thoughts thought out. Alright? I'm going to.. step out a but and just... just let you process everything, cause that seems to be what you need so.... right, yeah. Going to do that now. Sorry.

[and he went invisible and apparently gone. Sorry]

[Action]

[mademyhell]

[Being the idiot he was, Trauma completely missed processing what the fuck was going on until Claudio had disappeared.]

....

Fuck.

Trauma let out an irritated sound, and went to stand, promptly kicking Claudio's NV that had been dropped on the floor.]

...Motherfucking fuck.

[Trauma picked up the NV and turned it over in his hands a few times before smacking it against his palm. About all he could summarize the moment with was 'Fuck'. Because, honestly, he should've said something. He knew Claudio. The whole....Thinking...Thing...That didn't go over well. (Damn him for putting Trauma in this damn position and then walking off. That's not even fair. He's apparently had all this time to deal with it and can't give Terry ten minutes. Even if that wasn't- God. Fuck. He hated his brain.) To make things worse, dipshit had gone and left the only way to communicate, and considering his 'I'm about to go drown my sorrows' comment, that seemed really fucking stupid.

If it were anyone else, Trauma would probably have shrugged, called someone else to deal with it, and have gone off to think....It being Claudio however, Trauma went down the stairs, grabbed his bag from the table, and went to go try and figure out where the idiot had gone, because between the sirens and the fact that it really was not fucking fair to run off like that, he needed to find the guy.]

[Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[Only... Dio didn't LEAVE anywhere. He instead blinked out, dropped through the floor, went to get a drink and then returned to their room, where he sat on the floor and drew for a while, finished his drink, and flopped back into Trauma's bed with a sigh. Visible now.]

[This is where he fell asleep too. Just like this. Taking up most the bed, at a odd angle, arms out and head back and eyes closed. Feet sticking out past the side, with a sketch pad in his lap, or kind of in his lap.]

[He didn't go to the bar. He didn't leave the house. He didn't go ANYWHERE. Hell the drink he got was just a soda. So here he was, staying here but not putting up with the silence.]

[Which was true to the fact that he had ear phones on. The small ear bud ones, in light blue. So he could force himself to stop over thinking his idiotic actions. But see? He didn't LEAVE and do something STUPID]

[Action]

[mademyhell]

[After about the first hour, Trauma had started to run out of places in the immediate area to look. This led Trauma to getting on a train to the block near their old apartment, thinking he could be somewhere around there. Of course, it was also entirely likely that he had actually been in one of the places Terry had looked, and had just been playing invisible, but he hoped not, or he was going to clock the guy in the face, unintended love confessions or no, because there were some things you just did not do in the port.

He stopped in at the chinese place as a last resort before giving up on the area and heading back to the space around the house.

On the train, he was idly reading the fact that the woman ahead of him was horribly claustrophobic but still needed to get to point B badly enough to use the train in the first place and why the fuck would you do that to yourself when suddenly something occurred to him.

Son of a bitch.

Trauma pulled out his NV, and called Owen. Once the dog picked up, Trauma waisted no time.]

Owen. Go find Claudio. Now. Stop everything else. He's likely invisible.

[As he was talking, the woman turned around in her seat to shush him. Trauma snapped suddenly, eyes flicking red as he sped through a rush of information to tell her what was in the forefront of his mind. ]

Melissa? The bus takes the same route, and has windows. It wont be as uncomfortable. Get out at the next stop. Take that. Stop trying to shock yourself into liking the train. It's just scaring you more.

[The woman jumped back, and when the train screeched to a halt a moment later, she got up and went out the door, her heart racing a mile a minute, readable even in the, granted small, crowd. ...That....That was not good. That was the fucking epitome of not fucking good.]

....Damn it.

[Trauma sunk down in his chair, watching grey flicker under his skin, and put the NV back to his ear. ]

Finish figuring it out Owen, I need to know if I have to kill him or not.

[NV/Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[Owen was sleeping near the front door, waiting for anyone to come home. When the call came in his head picked up, tilted and waited. Oh! Orders. Find master. Got it. He got up, sniffed around, and started walking, taking in all the owners house smells. Jinx, Gabe, Jinx, Dio, Jin---oh right, Dio... follow that to, ah, Trauma, Jinx, Trauma, Red, Dio... There... go!]

[He ended up... in the attic. In the bed room, trampling over the bed, very large dog like, and over top of Claudio, leaning in and hovering.]

[He let out a loud and happy Woof! Tail wagging, tongue out and locking Dio's face, wiggling a bit in excitement in finding him.]

Jesus! Down! Okay, what the hell? [Claudio yelped, running a hand over his licked face and looking up at the dog in mild annoyance.] I didn't set a god damn alarm. You malfunctioning, boy?

[Trauma will have picked up all verbal communications]

[NV/Action]

[mademyhell]

[Trauma clenched his teeth and focused very hard on counting breaths in and out because, fuck you. You worried the shit out of him you asshole. Trauma looked over and saw grey climb the wall beside him, letting breath out in a rush to try and calm himself down. He'd already had enough of letting powers lose for the night.]

Have you been there, that whole fucking time?

[NV/Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[And that sounded like a really angry Trauma coming through Owen's voice box. Holy. shit.]

Terry? [he asked, surprised, sitting up more and making Owen sit down, starring at him a moment]

Um... yeah. Where are you? You told me not to fuckin' go anywhere so I didn't.

[NV/Action]

[mademyhell]

And you told me you were leaving.

[Trauma sounded pissed as hell, and his voice was randomly distorting enough to be noticeable.]

I thought you'd gone out. Into the darkness. Without your NV. You fucking idiot.

[NV/Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

Tch, yeah, so you could have your time to think. I know you need you damn time to think and I needed air. Didn't mean I left. You told me not to!

'Sides, I got like... three NV's on me right now. One standing on me no less. So don't call me a fucking idiot when you didn't bother trying to call before now, and what the hell are you doing trying to track me down anyhow? You know you can't. You can't fucking sense me and if I go invisible you can't see me. Where are you? For fucks sake, can this day get any worse?

[Owen sits there, wagging his tail happy like, making the angry sounds of Trauma seem strange in a way.... cute]

[NV/Action]

[mademyhell]

I did dumbass. And the one is actually in my bag. You threw it at me. Remember?

[Trauma raised his voice more than was socially acceptable in the last line, and promptly got about three disapproving stares. Oh. Right. He slid further down in his chair and started talking in something of a hush.]

Don't you think I know that? I thought you might not be that big of an asshole, that If I'd gone looking and found you that you might show yourself and-

[and he sounds like some kind of crazed idiotic glowing stalker and half the train seems to agree with that idea. Fucking fantastic. Why are they friends again?]

[NV/Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

I got other numbers and you fuckin' know it. You seriously go out looking for me and I was just right here the whole time? [That's funny.... was held back in comment because he's pretty sure Trauma won't find it funny at all]

[What time was it anyhow? He was looking round for the time now as he said]

Where you at? I'll come pick you up. Name a stop. Shouldn't take me long to get there.

[Gosh, look who's being calm about all this as he pets the dog a bit and starts to move to get his boots back on.]

[also... are they? Dio still pretty sure he fucked that friends thing up]

[NV/Action] I'm not going map diving, man. I'm not awake enough.

[mademyhell]

[Trauma was too busy glaring at people on the train to really notice how hard it was for Dio not to laugh. They didn't seem too nervous and so kept staring. Not that he'd want them to be because...things would get awkward but fuck this is just fucking awkward and irritiating and he really wished the lady terrified of bees would get off the train because he doesn't like being in close confines with something that makes him want to shift into a swarm. It's not a nice feeling.

He listed the stop, sounding mostly irritated with his existence.]

....

[There was a pause where Trauma debated saying something else, but gave up.]

Thanks.

...

Bye.

[He hung up the NV and put all of his energy towards glaring at the people on the train until they left him alone, he's still had that ability, if nothing else. And he's had a very short amount of time to figure out the rest of the crap in his head until he and Claudio met up. ]


[Idiot. You've got to come up with something worse than being in love with him to make him go away. And hell. He's confused enough about this shit, who knows. Could work out better than you think. That said. About two minutes later he realized the dick move in just getting off the phone like that, and sent a text to the alternate numbers, now that Claudio should be paying attention. easy to get ahold of, my ass.]

Sry swarm lady on train. need to focus

...

Right. Okay.

[Honest enough for now. Right.]

[Text/Action]

[thecrowingtobe]

[at least he gave him what stop he was coming to. Dio pulled boots on but didn't lace them, already dressed still, as he didn't bother to change before.]

[He was already out the door and in his car, backing over some oozing rat as he went. Gross, that better not have left a dent. That was when he received the text. It came across the dashboard of his car (as he switched NV to this o his phone, not owen).]

[Carefully... speeding, he text back:]

I hate swarms. They always make me feel weird. You know what else is weird are toe socks. I like them, but if you were them too long then your toes feel wider. Lots of weird things today, huh. Sorry about that. Really didn't mean to spring that on you... or make you think I took off.

[Text and formatting compliments of the car making him do it right, unlike handhelds where he texts badly and formats wrong. Random comments compliments of him trying to be distracting. The rest is just guilt.]