IC Contact - New
Jan. 25th, 2012 04:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thecrowingtobe[If it gets past the 4th ring and he doesn't pick up it will go to answering machine.]
This is Claudio. Leave a message and I'll get back to you if I can.
This is Claudio. Leave a message and I'll get back to you if I can.
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 07:26 am (UTC)I wasn't going to avoid you forever. Just until I could talk myself out of you, is all. Which is stupid, I know, but I got no one else to talk to about it so talking myself out of it wasn't going to work either. Talking to Jinx? No way. "Ewww, Diooo. Incest!" [he said it in his best Jinx voice... which isn't that bad] Gabe? Not really. Not taking it to the others either. [Michael would be encouraging, he was sure.]
But the more I tried to talk myself out of it anyhow the more I kept thinking on it and the more it seemed wrong to try. Which--okay, I'm lost on my own conversation. Look what I'm trying to say is this. I went on dates. I sat there finding them boring, and they really werent, but they were. I'd sit there wondering what you were doing, or god, texting you some bullshit comments cus I could. Or being glad a date was over so I could come back to the apartment, be grouchy, and flop down and bitch about it with you.
And yeah, I know that sounds a lot like just, you know, friends stuff, but it's not. I mean, it is but... hhhng. [he pressed his hands harder into his head, as if it would fix his jumbled thoughts.] Just... trust me. It's more then 'you're my best friend' thing going on here.
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 09:12 am (UTC)And, really, Claudio had kind of hit the nail on the head. When your problem actually includes the person you'd go to, to talk about any of this mess, then you clearly needed more friends. ....Fuck. Never saying that one out loud, in case Jinx heard him. Didn't need to know she was right. Encouraging her wasn't a good idea on this one.
He'd covered the 'long story short' version of this, already. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out, but he kept tripping up over the 'Why' aspect. And every time he tripped over the why, he got more irritated because the answer he'd been given wasn't enough to shut up his head, but knowing Claudio, he wasn't going to get better, and he shouldn't expect it or need it. This was something he hadn't known he'd had an hour ago, the fact that he couldn't quantify it shouldn't hurt his head so damn much.
Trauma sighed heavily and put his head down. Some days, he really did not know how to exist in his own head.]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-24 09:22 am (UTC)[He sat there for as long as he could handle it, then sighed deeply and shoved himself up to his feet, hands rubbing his head as if this gave him a headache.]
You know what? I can't do this. I can't sit here and stat over thinking every little sigh or sound or silence coming from you. I can't sit here and... and ramble off everything in my head and hear nothing back from you. If it's a problem. Let me know. If you don't remotely feel that way. Let me know. If you think I'm a douche bag, for the love of Deedee and Aslin let me know. But for fucks sake, just... let me know something.
Get your over thinking thoughts thought out. Alright? I'm going to.. step out a but and just... just let you process everything, cause that seems to be what you need so.... right, yeah. Going to do that now. Sorry.
[and he went invisible and apparently gone. Sorry]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 03:57 am (UTC)....
Fuck.
Trauma let out an irritated sound, and went to stand, promptly kicking Claudio's NV that had been dropped on the floor.]
...Motherfucking fuck.
[Trauma picked up the NV and turned it over in his hands a few times before smacking it against his palm. About all he could summarize the moment with was 'Fuck'. Because, honestly, he should've said something. He knew Claudio. The whole....Thinking...Thing...That didn't go over well. (Damn him for putting Trauma in this damn position and then walking off. That's not even fair. He's apparently had all this time to deal with it and can't give Terry ten minutes. Even if that wasn't- God. Fuck. He hated his brain.) To make things worse, dipshit had gone and left the only way to communicate, and considering his 'I'm about to go drown my sorrows' comment, that seemed really fucking stupid.
If it were anyone else, Trauma would probably have shrugged, called someone else to deal with it, and have gone off to think....It being Claudio however, Trauma went down the stairs, grabbed his bag from the table, and went to go try and figure out where the idiot had gone, because between the sirens and the fact that it really was not fucking fair to run off like that, he needed to find the guy.]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 04:14 am (UTC)[This is where he fell asleep too. Just like this. Taking up most the bed, at a odd angle, arms out and head back and eyes closed. Feet sticking out past the side, with a sketch pad in his lap, or kind of in his lap.]
[He didn't go to the bar. He didn't leave the house. He didn't go ANYWHERE. Hell the drink he got was just a soda. So here he was, staying here but not putting up with the silence.]
[Which was true to the fact that he had ear phones on. The small ear bud ones, in light blue. So he could force himself to stop over thinking his idiotic actions. But see? He didn't LEAVE and do something STUPID]
[Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 04:34 am (UTC)He stopped in at the chinese place as a last resort before giving up on the area and heading back to the space around the house.
On the train, he was idly reading the fact that the woman ahead of him was horribly claustrophobic but still needed to get to point B badly enough to use the train in the first place and why the fuck would you do that to yourself when suddenly something occurred to him.
Son of a bitch.
Trauma pulled out his NV, and called Owen. Once the dog picked up, Trauma waisted no time.]
Owen. Go find Claudio. Now. Stop everything else. He's likely invisible.
[As he was talking, the woman turned around in her seat to shush him. Trauma snapped suddenly, eyes flicking red as he sped through a rush of information to tell her what was in the forefront of his mind. ]
Melissa? The bus takes the same route, and has windows. It wont be as uncomfortable. Get out at the next stop. Take that. Stop trying to shock yourself into liking the train. It's just scaring you more.
[The woman jumped back, and when the train screeched to a halt a moment later, she got up and went out the door, her heart racing a mile a minute, readable even in the, granted small, crowd. ...That....That was not good. That was the fucking epitome of not fucking good.]
....Damn it.
[Trauma sunk down in his chair, watching grey flicker under his skin, and put the NV back to his ear. ]
Finish figuring it out Owen, I need to know if I have to kill him or not.
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 04:51 am (UTC)[He ended up... in the attic. In the bed room, trampling over the bed, very large dog like, and over top of Claudio, leaning in and hovering.]
[He let out a loud and happy Woof! Tail wagging, tongue out and locking Dio's face, wiggling a bit in excitement in finding him.]
Jesus! Down! Okay, what the hell? [Claudio yelped, running a hand over his licked face and looking up at the dog in mild annoyance.] I didn't set a god damn alarm. You malfunctioning, boy?
[Trauma will have picked up all verbal communications]
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 05:07 am (UTC)Have you been there, that whole fucking time?
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 05:12 am (UTC)Terry? [he asked, surprised, sitting up more and making Owen sit down, starring at him a moment]
Um... yeah. Where are you? You told me not to fuckin' go anywhere so I didn't.
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 05:51 am (UTC)[Trauma sounded pissed as hell, and his voice was randomly distorting enough to be noticeable.]
I thought you'd gone out. Into the darkness. Without your NV. You fucking idiot.
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 05:58 am (UTC)'Sides, I got like... three NV's on me right now. One standing on me no less. So don't call me a fucking idiot when you didn't bother trying to call before now, and what the hell are you doing trying to track me down anyhow? You know you can't. You can't fucking sense me and if I go invisible you can't see me. Where are you? For fucks sake, can this day get any worse?
[Owen sits there, wagging his tail happy like, making the angry sounds of Trauma seem strange in a way.... cute]
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 06:04 am (UTC)[Trauma raised his voice more than was socially acceptable in the last line, and promptly got about three disapproving stares. Oh. Right. He slid further down in his chair and started talking in something of a hush.]
Don't you think I know that? I thought you might not be that big of an asshole, that If I'd gone looking and found you that you might show yourself and-
[and he sounds like some kind of crazed idiotic glowing stalker and half the train seems to agree with that idea. Fucking fantastic. Why are they friends again?]
[NV/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 06:09 am (UTC)[What time was it anyhow? He was looking round for the time now as he said]
Where you at? I'll come pick you up. Name a stop. Shouldn't take me long to get there.
[Gosh, look who's being calm about all this as he pets the dog a bit and starts to move to get his boots back on.]
[also... are they? Dio still pretty sure he fucked that friends thing up]
[NV/Action] I'm not going map diving, man. I'm not awake enough.
Date: 2012-06-25 06:25 am (UTC)He listed the stop, sounding mostly irritated with his existence.]
....
[There was a pause where Trauma debated saying something else, but gave up.]
Thanks.
...
Bye.
[He hung up the NV and put all of his energy towards glaring at the people on the train until they left him alone, he's still had that ability, if nothing else. And he's had a very short amount of time to figure out the rest of the crap in his head until he and Claudio met up. ]
[Idiot. You've got to come up with something worse than being in love with him to make him go away. And hell. He's confused enough about this shit, who knows. Could work out better than you think. That said. About two minutes later he realized the dick move in just getting off the phone like that, and sent a text to the alternate numbers, now that Claudio should be paying attention.
easy to get ahold of, my ass.]Sry swarm lady on train. need to focus
...
Right. Okay.
[Honest enough for now. Right.]
[Text/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 06:37 am (UTC)[He was already out the door and in his car, backing over some oozing rat as he went. Gross, that better not have left a dent. That was when he received the text. It came across the dashboard of his car (as he switched NV to this o his phone, not owen).]
[Carefully... speeding, he text back:]
I hate swarms. They always make me feel weird. You know what else is weird are toe socks. I like them, but if you were them too long then your toes feel wider. Lots of weird things today, huh. Sorry about that. Really didn't mean to spring that on you... or make you think I took off.
[Text and formatting compliments of the car making him do it right, unlike handhelds where he texts badly and formats wrong. Random comments compliments of him trying to be distracting. The rest is just guilt.]
[Text/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 06:48 am (UTC)Youre weird i knew this.
[He sits there for a long moment, staring at the phone. He knew he eventually was going to have to have a conversation. He did. And he knew it. More importantly, he wanted to have it, and if they didn't knew it was going to get awkward and painful because he knew what Claudio trying to avoid that shit looked like and-....Right.]
I told you to stop apologizing why do you think you have to do that.
[And then a moment later.]
except for the not answering your phone or the saying you left when you did it thing. That you should apologize for
[Text/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 06:55 am (UTC)[he had most of it typed up by time the last came in, so he sent it anyhow, added swiftly]
Sorry for not answering my phone. Had ear phones on. Not apologizing for the not leaving thing cus I did leave. So I should apologize for leaving I guess. I mean... I didn't. But I wasn't there. It's not too important.
Important is that I'm here at the stop. So come up as soon as you get in. Car's out front.
[Text/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 07:51 am (UTC)About that
About being on this train yes
[Well. There's that healthy dose of guilt he'd been expecting. Goddamn it. Trauma sighed, and kicked his feet up on the rest of the bench, keeping people from taking the seat at the next stop. They were enough seats that he wasn't a total asshole for doing it, but he really didn't want anyone in his space.]
look. Im really bad at this shit
[Terry paused.]
sorry
[He covered his face with his hood and leaned back against the window, eyes closed and letting the rush of random information run through his brain. This was the kind of thing he knew how to do, as fucked up as it was. He was good at listening and deciphering the crap in other people's heads, the dark, awful shit they'd never want anyone to know. And it was all bad. All the time. Every fucking thing he got. Even the peaceful kinds of bad, like Jinx, were still not great places to exist. And he hated that this thing he could do had seeped into ever part of his life. Hated it. He couldn't even deal with something emotional without going off like some grey blacklight. He'd been getting better, and he knew it. But it still wasn't good enough. Then adding this...stuff. Claudio was a deadspace in his head, so that made the fact that- Fuck.
Trauma knocked his head back against the window.
This situation was hard enough without letting all the power crap and the fact that he already felt like an asshole for how much he honest to god relied on the guy. Constantly. He had approximately two people in the universe who were willing to
stick around because they thought he was worth it to them, and the idea that he could screw that up terrified him so badly that he didn't know how to get past the thought at first. Turning that over in his head, he thought about why it scared him. Well, obvious. Claudio was his best friend. Hands down. He loved Jinx, but they were sort of partners in awful powers and.....Yeah. Sister. Best way to put that. Drove him crazy enough.
There was Claudio's stupid ass tendency to be there to get him whenever he'd even remotely needed it, and his stupid fucking need to help when Terry's brain was too fucked up a place to exist in, and the fact that he knew how terrified he was to lose the people here and that it sounded so similar to his own terror it had been all too easy to prey on. Thinking back, he'd been scared of losing Trauma then. And here Terry had been, scaring the shit out of him all fucking day. Don't even need the powers to be a fuck up. Great.
And that was the other thing. He decided...to go anywhere near this idea...and it fucked up...He had nothing and no one to blame but himself. That had always been the case, obviously but-....Terry jolted as the train came to the next stop, and picked up the bag as he stood just inside the door, debating staying on the train until kingdom fucking come to avoid the conversation.
Because he was honestly thinking about what the fuck this could become and-...And he didn't know what to do with that. He was scared. He knew it. Hell, he was a fucking coward, anymore. Rachel used to get so pissed off at him for jumping right into shit. If only she could see him now.
Rachel would've also laughed at the fact that he'd jumped past the guy issue straight into the 'best friend issue', but Rachel just liked laughing at him. Thank god she and Jinx never talked. If Jinx got along with girls, they'd have been this horrible collective terror of ways to make his life a horrible place.And on being scared, that really got to the biggest problem. Because if he didn't give a shit, he'd've just said so. It would've been awkward. They'd have moved on. But the fact that his brain kept jumping back to the fact that he was pretty goddamn sure he'd do almost anything for the guy (and he was having a hard time thinking of things that made it 'almost') and he couldn't- Just...There was no one else that gave that much of a shit about him, not like that. Thor Girl had a crush and everything before that was a lifetime away. He'd never let himself think like that, especially because of...Well, let's just say Claudio and Jinx's crap had been enough to think he needed to never cause that issue and it wasn't like-...
Except it was. And-
Goddamn it. God fucking damn it. This was going to be one of those fucking things where if he didn't do something, he was going to regret it. He hated those. Fuck those. Fuck...all of this. Terry made a sort of agitated noise in the back of his throat before finally taking the step off the fucking train. His brain was almost ridiculously quiet in comparison on his way out to the car. He knocked on the door when he got there, and opened it. Standing there awkwardly once he was actually there, resolve from the train almost completely worn away. So instead of anything useful or dramatic, failure really became the only option. Again. Damn it.]
...Hey.
[Text/Action]
Date: 2012-06-25 07:44 pm (UTC)[So he waited, leaning back in his chair, staring out into the darkness, the starless sky, the bloody moon, the messy streets, the creature climbing up the wall of a building near by, the lamp post that was bent and dim. Why did it all seem peaceful now a days? Normal.]
[Still scared the crap out of him of course, and he began to think lazer's would be a great addition to a car. Huh.]
[These thoughts made it easier to stay off THOSE thoughts. Whatthefuck did he do. Are things going to be okay. Can he at least keep the friendship. Anything. His fingers tapped to music that wasn't even playing, mostly because he didn't play music at night so he could hear what's going on.]
[When the knock came he flicked the latch so Terry could open the door and get in. A Hey is all? That's fine. He flicked the car on again]
Hey.
[and glanced over to him, his general Trauma Check up. Greying? How are the eyes? That general thing. Make sure he was doing alright before he started to pull off down the street again.... slower now cus Trauma was here.]
All right?
[Action] FUCK THIS FUCKING TAG HERE YOU GO
Date: 2012-07-12 07:17 am (UTC)[He got into the car trying to avoid how fucking awkward he felt now that he was there and not in the midst of his 'get off the fucking train dumbass' anger. Trauma's NV sent another alert, and, this time, not focusing on other things, he looked at it as the car began to drive off. Terry frowned down at the NV and ran his thumb over the display, thinking.]
I don't get it. [He sounded like he was answering a question, even if the statement came out of nowhere.]
You're always-….You're always helping me. I don't-
[He paused, and didn't look up, still staring at the phone like it was personally responsible for confusing the fuck out of him.]
What did I do?
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-12 07:47 pm (UTC)[He was thrown a bit as the guy started in on the not getting it bits...]
What? Do you want me to stop? Cause that's... not really going to happen. You're important. Of course i'm going to help. Don't be stupid... [though he wasn't looking at the guy at all, just deciding to take an awkward focus on the road.]
You didn't do anything. If that's what you mean. I mean... you're just... you.
[Action] For the record. Trauma's an idiot.
Date: 2012-07-13 04:47 am (UTC)Words. Right.
He could do words.
....Right.]
...I don't know what it is you want. From this. ...From...me.
[And that wasn't so much "words" as "stalling having to talk himself." But who's really keeping track. Right? Besides, if he was the one that said...whatever he was thinking, then, inevitably, when he screws it up, it'll have been his fault that this went any further than some awkwardness to get past between them.
[Action]So is Dio. We already know this.
Date: 2012-07-13 05:01 am (UTC)[While Trauma stayed silent, Dio sat there thinking about other things, to get his mind off himself being an idiot and fucking this all up. His car. he liked his car. The seat were comfy, it purred like a giant cat, it ran like a dream and he built it himself. ]
[He built it while Trauma sat there mocking him for it. Or chilled out in the seat and laughed as Dio broke his hand on the engine, or when he kicked the tires so hard he blew one out on mistake, or... or ...]
[Something else that came back to Trauma. There was a shrug as the other spoke.]
Nothing. I don't want nothing from you. Not like some demands or needs or deep desires that you got to pay for or anything. I just... [he sighed, feeling awkward] No, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just tired of being alone. Don't want to be alone like I am. maybe that's all this is. Fickle or... or just cus your there or something. What ever it was you said. I don't know.
I just know that things keep getting worse. I keep laying there at night, on those rare chances that we're both passed out on your bed, and watch you sleep and think how nice it is. Creepy, I know, sorry. Or when you call me when you're having problems, not Jinx. Not that I don't expect you call her for things, just...
Well, maybe you only call me cus i'm a fucking power sink for you. maybe that's all it is for you. I don't know. I don't know what the hell I want, I guess. You're right. Maybe I am being dumb or something. That it's just weird feelings cus you're the only one around for me.
[he paused, turning at a red light and not even waiting, watching as some bat things chewed on the light anyhow. He drove off towards the house] Only, you know, you're not the only person I am around. I got jinx and Gabe and I do talk to Chuck from time to time. There's Jubes and Michael and Deadpool too. I actually go drinking with that crazy ass motherfucker. I can talk to the other crazy mutants for anything too. I'm not.... not shallow as all that to just... to decide that... um, to realize that I love someone just because they are around. I love a lot of those people but it's different, and I know that. I just can't fucking explain it. Okay?
[He was calm through all this. Very calm and collected, for the most part. Frustration slipping in here and there again, but calm none the less. He pulled down the side of the house slowly, headed to the back lot for the garage, just ... not sure what else to say.]
[Action] This is like an unprecidented level of idiot though
Date: 2012-07-13 08:01 am (UTC)There was a moment where Terry wondered exactly how incompetent a person he had to be to make it so his best friend and probably the only person he could stand on a regular basis (who hadn't decided that she was a relative and so able to bust into his personal bubble at any and all moments in time) thought power blindness was the only reason Trauma wanted him around. Sure, handy in a crisis, but Jinx practically had the same effect by now, and honestly, if he could read Claudio it would've made his life a hell of a lot easier in a situation like this. (No. Bad. Ignore that thought. That sucked last time.) ]
You're an idiot.
[Yeah, great start. Keep going on that track. It'll work. Sure.]
I don't-[Trauma cut himself off, Wrong. Start again.] Who else am I gonna call? ..You're pretty much all I've got. You and Jinx, but-[Now that just sounded wrong, and his distress at not being able to say what he meant showed. Sounded like he was settling. That wasn't what he meant. Goddamn it! There had been a point in his life where he hadn't completely sucked at people. He could remember that. He pauses for a long moment, trying to come up with words.]
Goddamn it.
[Deciding that words were obviously bad and prone to failing, Terry did something painfully stupid. He leaned over to shift the car into park, (Yeah yeah. Not good for the fucking car. He could hear all about it later.) before grabbing Claudio by the back of the neck and kissing him full on the mouth. He didn't linger, in fact, Trauma backed off pretty quickly, once his brain caught up with what he'd done, because....Well.
.....Right.
He was just...full of bright ideas today. Trauma slumped down in his seat, crossed his arms and contemplated the fact that he really needed to get better at words instead of taking stupid action. He'd died enough times in one life time to remember that stupid actions got you a hole in the chest. .....And that could be taken metaphorically in this case. Not literally, even if that had been a literal at one point. And Jesus Christ, why didn't his brain shut the fuck up?]
....So. There's...that.
[Action]
Date: 2012-07-13 08:35 am (UTC)[That is until the other put the breaks on like that. Oh yes he was about to raise to this change with strong protest. First off, this was his baby and you don't do that, second off, well shit man say stop, he would have stopped and parked it.]
[Just as he was about to protest however he found himself wide eyed in surprise as Trauma pulled him closer for a swift kiss and drew away again a moment later. Yeah, if that lingered long enough he would have kissed him back, almost instantly. But it hadn't and he felt his brain break a bit at that, unsure what to say or do.]
[He blinked over at the other, just watching him a moment longer. He then blinked again, slowly and sat back a moment]
Ah... well.... yes there is that. [he said, staring out the front windshield now, a very slow growing kind of stupid smile coming to his face. There was something about that that actually made him feel warm now instead of stone cold dread.]
So... if I decide to kiss you again you're not going to freak out and shut down on me, are you? Cause... that is a possibility right now. Just, you know, fair warning. Either that or you need to fix the fucking mixed signals.