thecrowingtobe: (-=| Thoughtful |=-)
Claudio Kilgannon ([personal profile] thecrowingtobe) wrote2014-09-11 11:43 pm
Entry tags:

Open RP Post

Open post for any and all PSLs for Claudio Kilgannon of the Amory Wars.

Open to all:
Cast Mates
Cross-canons
OCs
mademyhell: (Default)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-09-13 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"Intent's important, dumbass." Trauma said helpfully, parroting back Jinx's lesson without thinking. "And I'd like to keep hold of my memories this time, thanks."

Trauma rolled his eyes at Claudio's continued jackassery from the floor as if this wasn't anything abnormal at all. And he'd been hit before. And probably would be again. He knew his life and accepted it.

"Now. Without freaking the fuck out. Can you tell me what the hell you're even wanting so I know if we're even remotely in the same page?" Terry said finally, sounding tired and glaring at him obviously even through lit up eyes.
mademyhell: (You fail at listening terry)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-09-13 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"...Kind of need to know what you want to know what I am thinking about." Trauma said, unhelpfully. His eyes slid back to red and then finally to blue. He was on edge, but he was trying not to make things worse.

Not that Claudio was even looking at him.

Now who was avoiding things.

But really, Trauma was making a decent point. If this...if he was something Claudio wanted because he just happened to be closest or some sort of horrific reaction to Trauma dying then he didn't know what he was going to do about it.

If this was....

He wasn't even totally sure, but now that he was thinking about, he couldn't not think about it and....Goddamn it. Somewhere, someone in the universe was laughing at them.
mademyhell: (You fail at listening terry)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-09-14 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Trauma opened his mouth and closed it again. Because honestly he didn't have an answer for that one. Normal wasn't exactly their forte alright? None of theres. He sat back instead of crouching, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"'M not demanding." Trauma said finally, as if this was the main point. Which it isn't, and he knows it, but honestly he's not really sure what Claudio wants his response to be even and that is a problem according to Terry.

"And if you leave I wont see you again for another month." He said simply. ....So, maybe that whole avoiding thing left Terry a bit paranoid, okay? He's just now got the picture of why it happened, but because of Claudio's tendency towards flight...he's pretty sure it could happen again. And he's sick of it. Terry's got very few people he actively chooses to be around. And one of them treated him like he didn't exist for a while. So count him paranoid. Sorry.
mademyhell: (F. My. LIFE.)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-10-05 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
Trauma rolled his eyes, because Claudio was being dramatic about apologies again and he wasn't going to hash through it now, but someday he was going explain exactly what the problem was. With words. Even if he had to write it down first.

And Then Terry gave him another sharper look because Claudio had made the move to leave more than once. And he didn't trust the timeframe no matter what Claudio said. He'd trust the guy with his life. But he'd also trust him to try and evade every emotional mess on the planet. Trauma really wanted to avoid it, too.

The world, however, was not a fair place.

"Why the fuck would you 'lose me'. I don't get that." Trauma said, quietly, moving to watch the floor and still sitting with his arms around his knees. "Even if I didn't get the powers crap and I didn't-"

"That doesn't make sense." He said, mostly because it didn't. Trauma wasn't going anywhere. And it wasn't like there was anything Claudio could do at this point to alienate him aside from just...deciding he didn't want Trauma around. If that had been the case, he'd have hated it, but he'd have respected it. But he really couldn't fathom the fact that Claudio had no concept of that or the fact that Trauma didn't...he wasn't good with people. Not really. Not one on one, and not when it came to himself. So he wouldn't be the one to end..whatever the fuck was apparently happening because Trauma was very confused right now and fuck the headache coming on was enough to make him want to just go to sleep and not wake up for a very long time. Possibly until after Jinx was back and could act as a human...ish buffer again.
mademyhell: (Less than honest.)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-10-05 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
Trauma paused, and didn't really look up. Because he's not actually willing to admit, for either of them, exactly what he's willing to sit through. It's not exactly the healthiest thing he's ever accepted about himself. And he'd accepted a lot of things about himself over the years. You had to when you had the kind of things in his head that he had.

Even when Claudio reached out for him, and even when he came in closer Trauma just continued staring at the floor.

"I know you wouldn't."

Which is probably the point. If he did think it, really, when he wasn't horrifically upset and terrified then he probably wouldn't consider it, but then on the other hand if it was something he really though Claudio would do....then he didn't really want to deal with that.

When he finally does look up he looks like he's trying to parse through about six or seven things at once, not much different from usual really, but he's thinking.
mademyhell: (Surprisingly neutral there...)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-10-05 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
Trauma doesn't exactly say anything, not that it's new, though he does actually look at Claudio when he actually gets closer, more like Trauma can't figure out exactly what to do, or say or how exactly to make all of this make sense to both of them.

Normally they get by without actually having to talk about shit.

Can't this just be one of those times?

(Even though he'd been the one asking for them to talk ignorethatpart He clearly didn't know what he was talking about at the time. Why was Claudio the one with the ability to go through the floor? That wasn't fucking fair.)

"Don't be an idiot." Trauma said, clearly uncomfortable with the turn of conversation and dropping his eyes. Because he wasn't about to admit anything particularly difficult about himself right this second.
mademyhell: (I give up YOU people take this one)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2014-10-06 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
Trauma didn't move, at first. Surprised by the action and frankly by the calm, it wasn't something he'd expected and so he frowned at the floor.

He heard Claudio go back to their room and closed his eyes, trying to think.

He'd been given the time, Claudio wasn't going to pull another disappearing act.

That meant he had time.

Which to be honest didn't do him much good. He still had no clue what Claudio wanted him to do with the information, if he wanted Trauma to drop this or pursue it or even what that really meant. And if they did, what the hell was supposed to happen if one or the other or both of them fucked this up.

…Probably close to what had happened before this. And Trauma didn't know if he could do that. If bailing was an acceptable option, Trauma would have to cut this idea off now. He couldn't-…

There was no one he knew of that he knew better, or wanted to try to learn. That's what this kind of thing was supposed to mean, right?

He realized he'd probably been still a ridiculous amount of time when he noticed shadows crawl across the floor and how distracted he'd become, when he came into focus, the area around him recolored, and he sighed, standing up before he'd actually had the time to tell himself no.

When he went to their room, he knocked on the doorframe and waited to get Claudio's attention before starting to try and speak.

"I'm really...I'm not good at this." He started, not making eye contact. "You know that. I just...You're.."

Trauma stopped, closing his eyes and taking a breath again.

"I don't know why you'd even-..." Trauma started again, trailing off and looking frustrated with everything. Reason number one he wasn't sure why someone else would ever decide they were in love with him of all things. Let alone Claudio who was....He was reckless and bright and managed to be more open about pretty much everything than he was and how the hell- He didn't get it.

"Claudio, I can't promise I wouldn't fuck up?" He said finally. A little helpless and not anything near making eye contact. "And I'd need…I'd really need you to promise not to shut me out like that again but…"

Trauma shrugged, and tried to actually look at him, remembering this was his best friend, that was apparently in love with him and so he had to be willing to give Terry the benefit of the doubt ...right? Terry basically stood awkwardly in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and trying not to freak out about how even after everything this was apparently the decision he was willing to make and how he couldn't just fucking say it and Jesus Christ what the hell was wrong with him and why did he think this was all a good idea and fuck...
mademyhell: (Am I going to regret this Thor Girl)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2015-11-28 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Terry made a strange half laugh, because that was depressingly right on a certain level. They lived out of each other's pockets for so long that the moment it had been interrupted he'd barely known what to do with himself.

He couldn't think of anyone else on the planet, or really any planet that held the same place.

Terry seemed to take a very long moment, just watching him before finally walking across the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor and he began picking at the polish on his nails once he'd settled, trying to figure out exactly what he was doing or how he was even going to say it.

"This couple weeks literally sucked. I can't do that again. ...I can't." It takes him a moment, because that took a lot of effort to say even without looking at Claudio, because it's still hard to talk about himself in any real way and harder still to admit when something hurt him.

"I thought I'd-" He pauses, and open and closes his mouth a couple times like he's trying to figure it out. "I thought. That It'd finally been too much, that I'd-"

That I'd been too much, that everything had been too much to take.

"So... " He says awkwardly, before shrugging, and looking back down at his hands. It's a little hard to admit how that's still a sticking point in his brain and how hard it managed to crash what little self esteem he tended to cling to on a good day. It's a little easier now knowing why, but it's still difficult to talk to through, harder to explain, but it needs to be out of the way before he goes along with anything else or explains anything else.

"There's that but..." Terry is more than a little helpless when he comes to this sort of stuff, and he sort of half nods before continuing. "If if you wanted to I- ....I mean -"

Oh god. Talking is fucking hard, and it's more than a little obvious that he's not exactly making it on the talking front in the slightest, and dear fucking god, Claudio save him from his own inability to behave like a fucking human.
mademyhell: (Things that will suck for 300 Alex)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2017-06-30 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
It's a little weird how little he's surprised by the sudden space invasion, and that makes him pause more than the actual touch, because honestly now that he's noticed it's hard to un notice the fact that he's spent years with most people being utterly terrified to be in his space, and he really has gotten used to the fact that Claudio is almost painfully tactile, all the time. Always has been, even after he read his fears, even after they'd both died, even after everything. He's so used to it that relaxes in spite of himself, and then tenses up again due to the fact that now he's thinking about it. And Trauma takes a very deep breath and proceeds to roll his eyes at himself because dear fucking god, what the hell is wrong with him.

Clearly many things.

Terry half turned to look at him, not shoving him off in any way, but it's very hard to have a conversation with someone behind you. Not that...he hadn't kind of started that. The position was a little awkward, though it's pretty clear that he's mostly just trying to get some attempt at eye contact or something, and isn't trying to hard to make Claudio back up.

As for words...if he could've found a way to do it without being absolutely impossible he might've bitched about being forced to actually say it, but then, most of the time people are telling him to use his words.

Instead of whatever it is he does. Mostly not talking.

He stopped and started a couple times, without actually saying anything and mostly just making himself look kind of ridiculous by failing at the very basic life skill of opening ones mouth and having words come out.

Finally he just made a very irritated sound, and forced himself into words.

"Apparently we've tried dating without actually knowing we were doing it so, maybe we should try actually....knowing about it."

........Oh, and the look on Terry's face is kind of magical at the moment because clearly that was not as smooth or clear as he hoped for and now is mentally kicking himself because wow. Trauma. Low point in communication. Even for you.
mademyhell: (Am I going to regret this Thor Girl)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2017-06-30 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
".....Apparently I did." Was the first thing out of Terry's mouth. "I think?"

Frankly Terry had no idea what he's doing, so any assistance would honestly be appreciated. It's strangely a little easier now that he can actually see Claudio's reaction. About 90% of the time he tried to avoid any and all eye contact, but in this...as kind of with most things, Claudio seems to be the exception.

Wow. Okay. How pathetic are they?

Terry attempted something like a smile that mostly just comes out as an odd mix between cringing at himself and his usual inability to behave like a normal person. Having seemed to have realized that failed miserably Terry's eyes darted down and away.

He was clearly at something of a loss, but then, when it comes to his own stuff, and his own emotional baggage, when wasn't he.

"Yeah." He said, finally, more like a connection to the last train of thought than out of the blue, even if it took him....a really really long moment to actually say it. "I did."

He's not 100% sure where he stands yet, he's really not, because he's only had a little while to think and, lets face it, Trauma is a little (there really is no other word for it, unfortunately, and as always that fact makes his life difficult)... traumatized. The word love is likely not happening any time soon. Honestly, though he's sure he literally would do pretty much anything for Claudio and that the list of people he'd feel comfortable even going near the idea of dating or whatever is painfully small and would've likely included him had Terry not gone for immediately crushing any and all emotions that could lead to vulnerability and trying to ignore them for all he's worth.

Healthy? No.

A decent survival trait? Yes.

But he's willing to at least.....attempt. To look into what that could be like. Chances are, if they haven't murdered each other yet, they're not going to, and Claudio probably wont just....

If things go bad, the chances are bad will include someone going home more than one or the other of them deciding they hate each other, so there's that.
mademyhell: (Joining the black parade are we?)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2017-07-01 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
The corner of Terry's mouth tugs, like he's attempting not to smile but can't really help it for a moment.

So. Sometimes he forgets that they're both utterly useless, and that's part of why they're friends. It's remarkably endearing and it makes him roll his eyes in a sort of affectionate fake annoyance.

"Okay." He says, uselessly, though it's a less painful kind of useless, and more just of the normal kind.

Though the gesture Claudio makes reminds him that he maybe....needs to come up with a better way to deal with his anger issues than hitting someone. He'd been so angry he could see red at the time, almost literally, and what he'd thought had happened wasn't actually the case at the time. That didn't excuse it, but it was...understandable? He's sort of eternally grateful that what he thought wasn't the actual case because if it had, this would be a much more horrifying situation that would include way more need on his part for therapy.

His face screws up the way it does when he's thinking and he reaches out and then seems to think better of it.

"Hey, uh..." He gestures vaguely with a free hand. "Sorry. About your face."

And then a beat, because now that he's thinking about it....

"...Not about tripping you though."

That was a perfectly valid reaction, thank you, and would've been a Gauntlet approved response to someone who didn't know how to turn a power like whatever that was using trigger words for that sort of thing.

Either way, that's something they're going to need to deal with, now that he's thinking about it, but that is a problem for future them, and at the moment, he's just going to stick with taking one thing at a time.
mademyhell: (This is what we call the "Puppy dog eyes)

[personal profile] mademyhell 2017-07-01 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
If there's anything they have in common it's the constant need to beat themselves up for shit, and Trauma could see it literally a mile away, even before Claudio comes out and literally says it.

"Kinda decked you in the face before actually figuring out what was going on." He said, making a sort of vague so-so gesture. "Probably should apologize."

He narrowed his eyes as a thought occurred to him, and he reached out for real this time to grab Claudio's hand and pull it away from his face, using the action to make sure he actually had Claudio's attention.

"Yeah I was pissed, and-" He paused, and then decided on honesty. "....Still might be if I think about it...Mostly about the not talking. But that doesn't mean it was the greatest idea. "

He can figure that Claudio's going to continue being angry at himself, and tearing himself up inside, and really there is something that should be done about the fact that he really needs to get this particular power under control fast before there's another issue, but that aside, he knows Claudio, and he knows he wouldn't have made someone ..um. Decide to join the choir eternal? kill themselves intentionally. ...Okay maybe Spencer, but Trauma would probably do everything in his power to take that guy's fears and make them eat his own brain until nothing remained if he could, so honestly he's not the one to judge on that front. And let's be honest, he isn't sure which is worse.

Terry was actually trying for eye contact for once, and if he was in the mood for it, he might've laughed about the fact that they apparently are both way too willing to let people they care about hurt them. Way to go them.